Reduction

I am exhausted and a bit worn down by it all now plus my period seems to be working its way around my body and I'll soon be at the ready to explode stage which is why I am hesitating about making any decisions about S.

Since we had sex things have changed. Whereas he was the one who was doing all the pursuing and I really could not be that bothered if he did or didn't contact me now I am so worried and want him to contact me and make arrangements for another meeting etc. I should have gone slower and let him pursue me longer but I was too impatient.

I now feel reduced to just a sexual object which I never thought I would complain about but he only ever texts me when he is horny or wants to talk sex. He often does not respond to my texts unless they are sexy and ignores nice chatty texts etc. This is making me feel very cheap and tawdry and I want to say to him I am more than sex, I am a person with interests and views and opinions which you might find interesting if you just took the time. and there is the rub he is not interested and why should he be ....our relationship was honestly just about sexual attraction and for him the chase is over he has the conquest so what else is there?

Now I know all this and I would advise others to give him up, stop trying to lure him back because each time you lure him back its only by sending rude texts which further reduces you to what he now believes you are, nothing more than sex. The other side of me says go on its not quite finished,maybe he is fighting with himself and really wants you but actually I don't really believe that. Trouble is that the sex was so fucking fantastic and I just want some more of him.

I'm not in love with him as I hardly know him, but I am very attracted to him and I am curious about him and I know I could get very attached to him and part of me wants to be in love and want him to love me back and for us to live happily ever after lol.

So what to do? I think I'll text him and tell him its not fun for me anymore but that would be because I want him to respond whereas if I just leave it but not text him thats acknowledging that things are over as well and maybe there is the possiblity that he may come back again.

I also find myself turning him into Craig and making him into some bad guy and treating me bad and I don't think he is really. I think I have a pattern of behaving to which others respond and so it goes round and round and I find myself having these horrible feelings which two years ago were oh so painful and familar. How does one stop repeating these patterns of behaviour....I guess to do something different.

Normally I would keep texting and trying so maybe I should just give up and assume its over, maybe thats the different thing for me.

Right to day I will not text him at all...it maybe hard and I will be tempted but I will feel so much more in control if I resist.

Keep busy with

Washing floor,
Work,
TV
Buying sports stuff
Phone aunt
Contact Chris about weekend
There lots of things I can do especially when tempted to text him...maybe each time I am tempted I'll have a drink of water I could do with increasing my water intake lol
When I resist texting I feel so much more calmer and in control and ultimately happier.