Down the rabbit hole

Work was excellent today. Meeting early with children's Home staff to discuss some input I was doing. Then this afternoon a Conference which went really really well and reminded me of how much I do enjoy my job and how good at it I can be. I just must take my courage more often and faciliatate these meetings more often.

Then just as I was clearing up I glanced at my phone and delighted to see a message asking me what i am doing which I recognise now as his way of saying are you free to meet. Anyway I get to the phone just as he is stepping into the gym and he turns around and walks out just to meet me!!

We arrange to meet at a garden nearby and he drives ahead to check it out. I follow on and as I follow his instructions and draw near he flashes me with his headlights oooh that sent a shiver up my spine, so erotic to think this handsome man was waiting for me, just me!!

I gets into his car and we are all over each other so quickly, no talking just pure lust and sex and desire. Its gorgeously sexy and wonderful.

At one point his phone rings and when he checks its a friend so I tell him to take it and I'll be quiet. He does and is chatting away about this and that and I start to rub his leg and then undo his trousers and take his large cock into my mouth and give him a blow job. Meanwhile his fingers have reached under my skirt inside my panties and are deep inside of me...so now its hard for me to keep still and be quiet. He is very good, he manages to talk normally about the most mundane things all the while getting off on me giving his cock a good old suck. So crude and vulgar eh? and not a bit like the respectable and nice me that was in work today!

Anyway the sex as always seems pretty good to me and we try with him on top of me although its hard to get purchase and as he goes to adjust himself and we start to chat about this and that. Its nice chatting to him. He tells me about his day taking the baby out and how he enjoyed being a dad and had these women coming on to him. I start to talk about the conference and he askes some questions and next thing is I am telling him about the horrible child protection stuff which of course finishes the sex stone cold!! Big mistake that!

His phone rings several times and its her. Because she has rant a few times he gets intoa panic that something is wrong and he doesn't want to phone her with me in the car or nearby and so we have to end.

Oh when we were chatting he tells me he is going to the Railway tomorrow and I mustn't say anything to him. We'll be ignoring each other for if it gets out its 'adios Gill'.

I get home feeling very unsettled. What to do tomorrow? Will I be able to cope with seeing him and not being able to say anything or will I be preoccupied with him being there. Will alcohol make it worse or lighten me up? I'd like to be able to think that I know he wants me and will be watching out for me but my own insecurities worry me. I don't want my friends to make a big deal or stare over at him or anything either and it sort of feels a dangerous day as if this could be the end for us.

I try to be philosophical and think well its been fun but I know I like this man more and more I know about him. Perhaps it was better when there was no chatting and it was just sex at least then I didn't know him well whereas now I feel I know him much better than before.

I feel like I am falling down the white rabbits hole over and over without knowing whether I am upside down or the right way up just like Alice.

Who knows what tomorrow may bring...a white rabbit with a magic potion would be nice!