Happy valentines day to you as well

Well it is definetely over. I sent a text last night saying that I assume his silence meant he wanted no further contact with me but could he not be rude but just let me know. No response so about an hour later I text and said that I didn't have to be rude as well and to thank him for a wonderfully fun and sexy time and that he had woken me from two years of cebibacy only trouble was it left me hot and horny for more and that he would be a hard act to follow. I wished him well and said he was a naughty, gorgeous and v sexy man. Take care x

So thats it now.

Right onward.

I did also text Lawrence as I have this need to replace one with another, I just cannot go back to the boring nothingness of celibacy and lonliness. I love the excitement and the wanting someone and the feeling of being wanted and desired. So text Lawrence and said we would not be at the Railway on Friday but on Saturday instead to see Rod Stewart lookalike so no nice chats. He responded by saying ok chat another time and that he was in work playing pokerx

Huh so that was not the response I wanted either what a let down!!

So it looks like I'm just going to have to get over this on my own.

I keep telling myself that I will be fine its not as if I was in love or anything it was just sex and excitement. But I find I keep thinking of him and checking my phone and hoping he'll still text so to be honest it is not as easy as I would like it to be.

How to get over this quickly? I don't want to brood and get depressed and feel rejected etc. I want to recapture my earlier feelings of confidence and excitement and power that I had only this time last week.

Thank god I am busy with work and have the trip to Venice to look forward too. I also think that S was good for my self esteem as he did make me feel so sexy and desireable which was something that Craig never did. I don' t think it was that S went off me so much as his need for novelty and the chase and I think he was worried about his family finding out. I keep thinking that when he heard Jayne say hello to his mate it was too close for him but I'll never find out so its no point in dwelling and pondering.

Bugger, bugger, bugger. This time last week was brilliant and now I am fucking fed up. Oh well this time next week I'll be in the air winging my way to Venice.
Put on the smile and get on with life.....Jayne said yesterday how many times can we take rejection?