I've just text him again this time saying that I seem to have left a necklace in his car last week and that I'm only telling him so as not to cause him problems and because I would like it back which is true although the necklace is a bit crummy to be honest but the real reason is its an excuse for just contating him again!!, sigh!!
Why does rejection make you feel crap? Its not him cos I barely really know the guy and its not just the lack of sex because I feel sure I'm going to get that again with someone else I think its the rejection thats painful so really has little to do with him and therefore I should stop contacting him and concentrate on my own feelings connected with coping with rejection....there that sounds good doesn't it?
You sort of want to get him back even though you know the relationship will not be the same again and it will be spoilt also my experience with Craig teaches me that its actually better for your recovery to have one quick ending rather than lots of little ones as you can adjust and get over it much quicker.
Also this dating, flirting, sex thingy is a game and when you have finished you just don't contact the other person again....its not in the rules.
The other side of me thinks I should send him some naughty text messages to see if he responds as I know deep inside he loved the sex with me and will be missing that and it would be relatively easy to get him back on those terms but that way leads to lots of heartache and weeks like this so its better to put it behind me and get on with stuff.
Stuff like Mr T who apologised yesterday for not turning up last week. I am beginnning to go off him as he is sounding more and more creepy and pervy but keep in my head that there was an attraction although I was drunk at the time...like with Mr V! Still we'll have to see what happens with Mr T. Also Lawrence is anything going on there or has that just fizzled out?
Maybe I need to recruit some fresh blood and gather some new reserves. Mr V has given me confidence to go for the more attractive men. His wonderful looks gave him such confidence which in turn was incredibly sexy.
My hair dresser was talking last night about why she would never go out with black men and basically she said they were all arrogant and treated their women badly huh if only she knew the middleaged woman in front of her had just finished a wonderfully passionate and sexy time with such an arrogant but extremely talented and good looking black man and was inside agreeing that her racists comments did really have an element of truth about them in this particular case.
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