Went to the pictures and saw Brokeback Mountain on Friday. We had promised Lorraine that we would go to the pictures but as the time drew nearer neither Jayne nor myself really wanted to go. Yasmin turned up with a horrible cold and all I could selfishly think was don't give it to me. The film was good although very slow but I think it suffered from our general mood of not really wanting to be there to see it. Yasmin, Jayne and I were all thinking can we still get to the Railway before it closes and Lorraine is still very worried about her brother Gary.

We did get to the railway, Lorraine dropped us off and I did feel guilty about that. It was weird going into the pub stone cold sober when its at its busiest and noisest with drunk people barging into you etc. We had to wait ages for a drink and so ordered pints. As a result Jayne got very drunk very quick and very aggressive.

Roy was there and I suggested that we move down the room away from him as Yasmin was horribly fixated by him chatting up people but Jayne who was also horribly fixated by Bondy and Mark didn't want to move away and started to scream and shout very aggressively. However we did move although had to move back again later just because it was so crowded.

When standing waiting for a drink I saw Lawrence and he saw me and smiled his lovely smile at me. It was strange because Jayne knew who he was immediately without me having to point him out to her.
Later in the evening he came and found me and we chatted for ages. It turns out that he is a fireman and has been a marine. He certainly looks very fit. He is 42 and been married twice although is now waiting for his divorce and sale of house to go through. Still wants to get the narrow boat although does not seem to have much ambition about where to sail it saying as far as Harlow Mill or Roydon does not inspire one to believe he is the adventurous type. He is also not very motivated or ambitious about work but I have to stop myself being so judgemental. I don't know the bloke and he may have other interests outside of work etc.

He just chats to me which is lovely and smiles alot which is also very nice. As we chatted we got closer and I love that feeling when you are slightly flirting with someone and have to put your face close to theirs to hear what they are saying and you can just feel the skin on their cheek next to yours...mmmm very sexy.

He also seems very laid back especially when talking about work and the situations they have to go into. We had a long discussion about the politics of Firefighting which I found interesting. Its funny about him being a fire fighter cos I had previously told Jayne I thought he was going to rescue me!!

He asked my number and I gave it to him and he also asked me if I would like to go with him to a pub and watch the rugby the next day. I turned this down as had arranged the gym with Jayne and Linda but it was sweet to be asked out on a date.

I did tell him that I was in a messy situation but hoping to resolve it soon and that didn't seem to phase him at all but we'll see.

He bought us all a drink which was embarrasing as it was Yasmins round and she should have refused and he tried to make sure we had a taxi home so all in all I think he is great.

Its funny cos its now Tuesday morning and I'm still pretty hooked sexually on S and texts are now flying during the day between Jason and me but Lawrence is on my mind and I love the way he treats me as a lady and with respect.

I do worry about what my children might think of me should they ever get to hear of my very recent adventures. I would like someone to tell them that for most of my life I was sensible and respectable and did nothing intentional to hurt peoples feelings but for this brief time I am just letting go of some restraint and wondering if restraint ever really did me any favours?

Today I wake up with excitement flooding through my veins and the notion of anything might happen and just how exciting life can be sometimes. Today will be a good day.