Went to Railway as usual last night and it was okayish. Music good but I am getting a bit bored with it now. Mr Velvets mates were there and one of them started saying how Robo had told everyone how I had kissed him. I didn't like this at all it made me feel cheap and tarty. Spoke to young Stu but only for a little while, I'm not sure if he likes me or not really...anyway he is much too young.
This morning I took Mr V's name off the phone as I thought texts had gone down sufficiently for me not to be able to access quickly his number from the recent recieptants.
10.00 the phone tinkles and its a text from him. I recognise the number saying ' I got ya money' I jokingly say he has incurred interests when he send a stroppy text back saying 'Nope we need to meet and talk still not happy about your mate very very indiscrete.'
Well I am pissed off with him anyway so if he wants a row thats fine by me and I aint having sex with him anyway. So I arranged to meet just to talk 'Let me get this straight we're meeting to talk right?' I turn up late to car park and he is already waiting and as soon as he gets into the car I ask for my money and he gives me thirty and will not take the change, he asks me whats up? So I tell him I am fed up being ignored ...he launches into how stressed he is about the things Jayne said to his mates last week and that its indiscrete ....he goes on and on and even when I ask what would reassure him he carries on. He is deadly serious and very angry and stressed and almost threatening to Jayne.
He tells me that I am lovely and he enjoys our time together and that I've been as good as gold but she is trouble and she belongs to me etc etc. I have to tell her to make her see that he is serious and that she is not being clever and that he will do anything to protect his kids. There are lots of implied threats in his sentances and I do challenge him about them.
I also go on with my complaint of being ignored and then phoned when he wants sex, that if we are going to do this it has to be mutual, to which he says it is isn't it? He reckons I can text him and just ask for sex just like he can and he'll reply. He also said he is incredibly busy at work and working long long days and evenings to which I said you were not too busy over Christmas and New year.
We argue for a while with him getting all stressed and finger waving and swearing about Jayne and me staying icey calm and cool...at one point he called me Vicar of Dibley. I tell him we are philosophically opposed to which he says he doesn;t give a fuck but Jayne has to leave him alone.
I also complain that he is texting internet people and if he is going to sleep with them then I;'m off. He says he has finished that and he thought I would think it was funny and no he has not slept with them or anyone else. I imply that if he sleeps with other people how do we know if he doens't catch something to which he gets really really cross and I think he is going to either shove me or get out of the car, swinging round in his seat and getting really stressed. He tells me he does not sleep around to which I replied well we both have with each other!
I tell him ignoring me and then just turning up for sex makes me feel like an unpaid prostitute to which he gets really stressed with again. He asks me what I want and I say just to have fun but its got to be mutual. He goes on again about Jayne and being discrete.
He is still fantastically attractive to me and I have to say being told off by him was a turn on as well.
Eventually we agree we need some rules and take it in turns to say our rule. Mine is that he doesn't ignore me and his is that if I see him out no matter who he is talking to I have to ignore him and Jayne must be kept under control. I tell him to tell me when he is going to the Railway and I'll make sure that we are not there and its next Friday.
We worked it out. It did feel like some real storming and at the end we have our new rules or have normed....not sure if I really trust him though.
In amongst the ranting he actually said some nice things about me and also said that dispite being private he will tell me things now he has known me longer as I am entitled to know them.
We kiss and kiss and kiss, deeply and passionately, oh how I love to kiss and be kissed by that man and feel his hands on my body around my waist holding me tightly and then on my breasts....I could easily fall in love with him and have to hold on to remaining detatched and saying its just a bit of fun and sex.
We don't have full sex as my period is finishing and the nurse said yesterday to wait for three days before having sex and as he is so big and strong it would be dangerous to ignore that as he is bound to dislodge it or something. I am worried he will feel it anyway, hope it doesn't put him off. He is fine though and although tries to rub me through my trousers doesn't push it. On the one hand he is very respectful sometimes and the other he is naughty, naughty. Whatever he is, he is always exciting to me.
Later he says he will text during the week and to be honest I am cool with that. Its just not knowing if we are finished or he is just busy that gets mostly to me. He did mumble that today was going to be the last time he saw me but we both know thats rubbish now. He can't quite keep away and even though I think he has tried he just keeps coming back for more. This is scarily turning into something a bit more and I do hope that Jayne or I didn't say anything to his mates last night...I don't want anything to spoil this.
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