Coiless

Went to Railway on Friday as per usual although it was Jayne's birthday so it should have been nicer I guess. Jayne is going through a bit of a rough patch just lately what with all the Bondy and Mark stuff and then the bloke she likes, Steve was nice but very distant and to cap it all when she got home Friday night she text Bondy on the pretence she wanted to talk about possible tiling job and he was really nasty to her. She is now worried that he might say something or do something that will drop her in it with her family. I have tried to reassure her that he probably just wants to be left alone so is unlikely to do anything that will further promote trouble with her or the family.

I suppose looking from the outside you could say she is only getting what she deserves but I know her better and its easy to judge when you are not in that situation. None of us decided to be like this. I took my marriage vows extremely seriously and never thought I would be like I am but as life moves on you grab little bits of happiness where you can and women like Jayne and me have a yearning inside an unfullfilled something that keeps us searching and yet still not being satisfied...I think all we want is to feel loved and wanted really.

Saturday I popped out for a quickie with Mr V...he still turns me on just by being in his presence and I know our relationship has changed subtly. I challenge him now when he goes to rush off and he looks repentant and stops to check I am okay he also asks for goodbye kisses. Now all this might seem nothing but there were times when he used to rush off and would leave me feeling like some prostitute...still keep a handle on this for my own hearts sake.

After he had gone and I was tidying myself and the car up my eye caught sight of a little white somthing between the passenger seat and the handbrake and after much prizing and tweaking I managed to get it out to see that it was my coil!!! The bloody thing had come out afterall which accounts for the exceptionally heavy period I am still having. Now I am going to have to go back to the clinic once again and have my bloody cervix clamped all over again and what do I say to them...it came out during an exceptionally heavy session of deep down and dirty sex?

At least I found it, it could have fallen out in the garden which would be worse as I would be thinking it was still in there and then I could have gotten pregnant!!!

Went out for a drive with Jayne last night, it was going to be a walk but by the time we had driven past the Beckhams to see their party and watched the flyover and anyway the spot at the garden was being taken by another couple, very steamed up windows, it was too late to walk.

Sleepless night last night for some reason so am really eye hurtingly tired today and have phoned in sick. I will actually do some work as need to be ready for presentation on Thursday. Thats the ironic thing I will be working while having a day off sick!! There is something wrong in that.