Had a really busy day in work yesterday. Its actually quite hard to concentrate and work in our office with distractions of people and phones and I really do think I do actually achive more when working intermittently at home.
Poor Becky has heard that her mum has cancer and its not only in her brain but also her lungs and bones so it doesn't sound a good prognosis for her.
I've felt hollow and sad yesterday but gave myself a talking too and reminded myself that its okay to feel like that...its still a loss. A loss of what might have been, a loss of the fun and excitements and a loss of seeing someone who I found pysically attractive plus the loss of him finding me attractive and sexy and of course the loss of sex.
On the other hand I just know there will be others. He has been so good for me. Maybe his role in my life was to let me see that I am and can be sexy. That makes me smile to think of it. So after feeling a bit down and decidedly grumpy yesterday I have woken today feeling fairly good and positive..he is already beginning to fade and anyway I just know I will see him again even if its not for ages and only just fleetingly we'll have some sort of contact.
Woke myself up having the most amazingly erotic dream...all about ambulance drivers having sex with me...felt very real...oh dear how silly but a nice start to the day.
Have spent most of this morning looking up flights to Venice and what with the hotel the cheapest I can get is around 504 between the two of us...very tempted. Phil has asked me to take him to Eygpt and I might find out what its like to go next April or May as that might be a nicer time and would spread the cost. The other thing is finding something that Lorraine, me and Jayne can all do together. I have my concerns now as I find Lorraine too controlling when we go out together now and it makes me really uncomfortable but don't want to lose her friendship and don't feel I can say anything to her as she would be very hurt...with that in mind I have found a murder mystery which might be the answer.
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