Still silence

No word from him. Zilch. Its funny because one of the things an ended relationship leaves you with is a sense of loss and emptiness. Its like a void inside you and there is nothing to say, nothing to contribute towards conversations etc. I suddenly feel boring and without conversation and chit chat and yet I only would see him for about an hour or so max each week, sometimes less. I suppose I spent more time thinking about him, constructing things to say or ask and if you take that away that is where the emptiness and void lie...so easy to fill then? lol

Went for another walk with Jayne last night. We've walked over various bits of Harlow, discovering housing estates, little bits of countryside and generally feel like we're uncovering our own town just by walking. Its quite satisfying really. Last night we only intended to be out for about an hour but ended up walking for over and hour and a half...knees ached.

Got lots of work to catch up on and the sun is shining so could do some work outside in the garden against the backdrop of bird song...so must get motivated and start. Everyone else in the office work three times as hard as me and with our service in danger of being lost I should and must pull my weight.

Trouble is I just want to hear the little tinkle of my phone telling me there is a text, then I want to open the phone and see his number there and a message asking me how I am? I know he'll be back again, I just know it but I wish he would'nt play these horrible silent games...they tear me apart.