I took yesterday off sick due to hangover and after posting on here went back to bed for a nap. Started day dreaming about him and sent a text telling him about the pilot I had met on Friday...immdediately he replied wanting to know more information and stuff. He is so easy to lure back and I knew I could but its lost its shine now. Its not like it was in January it feels tawdry and cheap now. I feel cheap I guess.
He did make me laugh later though when he text around tea time and asked me to send him some porn to his yahoo id which is called 'the rightstuffuk' I suggested he changed his id to the 'badstuff' to which he replied that was why I liked him. That did turn me on. I suppose its true as well. There is a part of me that gets aroused by his badness, I like being treated rough in a way and I love it when we meet and he kisses me and makes me forget all the crap. Then I spend a week thinking about him and planning and plotting how to get to see him again all for a measly half hour or hour at most.....and what is he doing while I'm thinking of him? He is screwing her, going on the internet and generally enjoying his badness.
I spoke to him online last night and he got his mate Pete involved which I hate. He likes to talk about what he does to me and how I respond so Pete can join in. Lots more pressure to do a threesome. I told him to get a room then I'll know I can trust him in the end I got sick of it and just closed the whole thing down. I really really do need to end this. I feel tired and worn down and its partly to do with this crap that I perpetuate as well. I could end it, he wouldn;t bother me so its up to me really.
Jayne was very down yesterday. Justine still shows no sign of working or growing up. Instead Jayne has to put up with rubbish from both her girls plus Mark being a pig. She says she doens't want to be at home, doesn't do any housework or wants to cook meals because she can't stand being around them all. Sad.
Trouble is she has these dips and has a rant and then it all goes quiet for a few weeks or months until she can't stand it again. We both agreed that its her that needs and can to it, to change things. No one else will change only she can do it. Instead she drinks her latte's which add on the weight, eat her crisps, moan that she has nothing to wear and buys endless clothes which give her that quick fix, a quick buzz. Debts are huge and becomming insolvable, I do worry for her really. Her holiday to Venice is going to be very expensive and just add to her problems.
Yasmin is having sex with any young bloke under 25 and has now fallen for a 23 year old and is going all bunny boiler on him just like she did with Roy. Lorraine is probably the most sane out of all us. Is this time a midlife crisis or what.
Right off to work. I must get going with this bloody moderator stuff, its almost finished but its been so painful producing this and I still don't really know if I have really done enough or not.
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