Round and round my head

Its been constantly on my mind for the last 24/36 hours. What do I do? Confront him by text or wait till he comes back. One thing for sure is that I do have to let him know now that I know and that I have known for ages but cannot continue to pretend I don't know as I now know that he will know as he is sure to have communicate with her recently. The whole thing is making my brain ache really.

Then once I tell him I know do I end it with dignity and tell him what a sordid little low life he is....or do I carry on seeing how far this will go etc. Already I am thinking the latter but then worry what this will do to my own mental health, self esteem etc? Thing is my self esteem has been boosted this last few months and as a lot to do with being found sexy and attractive by him.

Nothing has changed, I know only minor details whereas on Friday I knew what she was to him anyway...its just sort of consolidated it and firmed it up in my mind and took away the hope that she is dwindling or in fact has even gone away. I was hoping it was over between them and instead what I found out was that its very strong at least on her side and she thinks she will be with him for ever.

I've sent and received a few texts from him and at the moment he seems to be ignoring fact that I know either that or she did forget to tell him but I suspect the former. I want to get it out in the open and ask him and if I do I will have to make a decision then to either carry on or stop...urgh I my brain literally hurts.


After much deliberating I've just sent him a text saying that I decided to delete the video as I felt a bit foolish following friday and wondered why you would want a video from me.' I've put a message received on the message so I'll know when he gets it. The last few days he has obviously turned his phone off while out with her and the kids and he may turn it on at lunch time or later today...I suspect he'll ask me what I am on about and I intend to reply that I know he knows and see what he says then.