Sad little lives

I did sort of relent and sent him a couple of chatty type texts but its seems his phone was switched off so he didn't receive the texts till he turned his phone on at 8.40 to go to work. By then I had sent one about staying calm with Gavin and remember that revenge is a dish best served cold. Surprisingly he replied by saying 'morning to you' which in itself sounds nothing but is actually quite huge as normally he never replies to texts unless its about arranging a meeting or a lead up and of the sexual nature...so this was a different text and sort of indicates to me that he is either keeping me sweet or treating me and seeing me as a person rather than a sex objetc. Whatever I don't expect this to last as it seldom does. I think he has a low boredom threashhold.

Went to meet a girl today who has suffered alot. Her mum died a fortnight ago, she has self harmed, been sexually assaulted and bullied in schools. The system has generally let her down and yet here she was wanting to support and help other pupils in the school who are being bullied. On the surface she looked about 18 but it felt like she was a child of 10 with her low attention span and her general fragility that leaked from the inside out. I hope I can do some real productive and useful work with her. It would be good to leave her with something positive although on the other hand woudnt that be sad that her mother would never know how she turns out.

Going to Tommy's funeral today. Very sad little life. They have sort of set up a little shrine tohim at the newsagents where he used to hang around with his friends and it looked very tawdry and sad with all the local kids who normally terrify the other ones all hanging around reading the messages and looking slightly lost and ill, most were on heavy drugs so might have been out of it.

The funeral will be interesting with the range of people attending. Lots of travellers and possibly a smattering of professionals like myself who actually like Tommy alot when he was little and am sad to here how his life ended so tragically short. Miserable is the only word I can think of that sort of sums up his little life...and yet it could have been different. He was never the sharpest knife in the draw but he could be very kind to younger children and he was fiercely loyal. Who knows what he might have grown into had he been in a different greenhouse.

Got some kind of horrible throat infection/cold which kept me awake last night. I had a temperature and generally felt horribly unwell...but today apart from the funeral is an easy working from home day and I intend to not do very much. In fact when I have finished posting this I am going to wash my hair and watch some tv...this is a brilliant job long may it last.