Tommy's funeral

Tommy's funeral was unlike any I have ever been to before. The whole area around the cremetorium was filled with cars and trucks and super posh mercedes and bmw's. We had got there early because Jayne guessed correctly that parking might be difficult and as we walked up the hill to the cremetorium I saw standing on her own Christine who used to work in the infants so we went over and joined her. Soon Debbie who used to be the Deputy Head of the infants came along and then Jackie.

It was rather a strained reunion some of us have remained friends and some have not. The parting of some of those friendships has been rather difficult and althoug the common factor was our own experiences and memories of Tommy it also brought back other memories some good and some not so good also sadness at lost friendships. We have all aged some better than others. I thought Jackie looked older and she sounded full of airs and graces really. I miss that friendship though it was a good one.

The 4 white horses and white carriage came up the drive. The horses had coloured plumes on their forlocks and the carriage was covered with flowers. Inside the glass carriage you could see the very simple but expensive coffin and thats when it hits home. You come into life with nothing and you go out with nothing. All this expensive show and finery and Tommy could take nothing with him. He was to face his maker naked and on his own. Its also poignant, a young boy whose life was tragically short.

There were at least 5 cars following filled with family including Mel sobbing and looking distraught and Ammyboy looking out of it. Other cars emptied themselves of women with that soft look on their faces, they look like they have been punched too many times and their hair is too long for their ages and their jewellry is just too big and gold to look tasteful but you know its expensive nonetheless. I suppose when you are a traveller you don't use banks but rather display and carry your wealth around you. The men were wearing caps and they had that pinched look about their eyes, the young boys looked like they were learning that look.

I did see lots of red eyes and people obviously in tears with genuine sadness.

People went into the crem but we hung back and listened through the speakers outside. Later we went to the graveside and watched while Tommy was lowered in, people spoke, doves were released some while family were photographed releasing them and like Christine said 'how do you look when posing for that photo? Do you smile or look sad?' that felt strange. Petals were thrown on the grave rather than earth and gradually people began to drift back to cars. As we were leaving they were putting the flowers on and around the grave. It had taken the carriage, 5 cars and 2 pick up lorries not trucks to transport all the flowers sent and must have kept interflora in money for years yet. We wondered who and how it was all paid for as the whole thing including what ever the wake and the post funeral tea might cost.

Christine came back to mine after for a cup of tea and we caught up on news. She and Jimmy are finally finished although she is still fond of him. Her children are at different stages of different crisis including possible cocaine addiction and junvinile crime and she is still with Dean. Dean who had a thing for me for ages and used to keep phoning me up and would always start his conversation with 'hello fart face' or some other nice words of endearment lol.

Jayne joined us at the end but she was tired and had a stressful busy day both work and her own children ...but there you go thats Jayne. The good news is that she has finally eliminated Bodgers number from her phone and is free from the tyranny of wanting to phone him.

After Jayne went last night I went online to see if Mr V was there and he was but it wasn't me who contacted him but rather him that made the first move. Its strange and rather nice this period where he is back onto me rather than me chasing him. He is almost nice and sweet and tender now which is lovely. He said its strange that we both know so much about the other and said a little later is uncomfortable with it. Lots of sex talk but other stuff as well including him treating me like a person albeit a sexy person. Also acknowledging that I do consider seriously giving him up, also saying it just gets better and better and also saying he won't talk about one woman to the other as he is a gentleman. I nearly choked on the last bit lol.

Today I have text him this morning trying to tempt him to come round here and although he has answered saying all the right sexy stuff he is not coming which is probably good as I do take risks sometimes that I shouldn't, but taking risks is fun and exciting.
Once again for me life is good and I value and enjoy each day like this with a brilliant job, good friends, wonderful sons, a niceish home and a wonderfully naughty and exciting lover...all I need is a few bob in the bank and I am complete...oh how shallow but how fun.