Painful creations

The weekend was fairly busy really, shopping and stuff with Jayne on Saturday and then Sunday I finally got out into the garden and did some pruning and chopping. Very energentic I was too. It felt good to be out in the cold winter sunshine with the wind on my face working up a heat with all my pruning. I could feel muscles stiffen and react and possibly wake up after not doing anything physical for ages...well the last physical activity was with Mr V the other week and that took several days to recover from as well.

I also cooked a delicious roast and made hot spicey parsnip soup. Yesterday I carried on my housewifely theme by getting up at six to hoover and wash the floor. It all left me feeling very virtourus but tired after lunch when it all caught up with me, still it is nice to come home to a quick bowl of hot spicey soup on a such a cold wintry day.

Work is very busy and I have lots of new cases which all need report writing so today has been put aside for that plus I want to change the Primary school session and make it much more like a narrative that the children can respond to. So far its 10.30 and I have showered, washed and dried hair which is a marathon task in itself, put shopping away, started an order for next week and thought briefly about the changes I want to make. I am at the painful point of pushing out, almost giving birth to the new ideas, its hard work and makes my brain ache. The tempation is to task avoid but I'm so close to this being a good idea that I just have to go with it. It sort of gives me an understanding of how difficult it can be being creative not that I am fantastically creative but I do have good ideas sometimes.

Jayne and I have booked a trip to Spain in June and a last farewell trip to Venice in September, she'll be able to leave some flowers for Roberto and say goodbye, it might be sad or it might be our usual good fun and relaxing time. Either way its going to cost money that I don't really have.

I'm quite tempted to take back my offer of taking mum on holiday as I'm feeling hurt and angry at the way Richard has been treated re Dads car. While he was considering what he could or could not afford they went and sold it from under him to Jean! I am going to see her tomorrow and I'm tempted to let her know that she has unwittingly guzzumped us. I'd like to know whose idea it was to ask Jean especially while Richard was considering buying the car? Just another nail in my box marked family and to be honest sometimes it makes me so bloody mad that I could quite easily say fuck the lot of them and never bother again. Instead I guess I'll withdraw a little, be a bit curt and not bother phoning for ages. I expect they will get the message...grrrr why do they still get to me?

Right on with work now, get myself into the right frame of mind and start the creative process.