Yesterday I heard nothing from him all day long which after the previous day was a bit of a relief...but eventually he text around 5.30ish saying he had been stuck in a hotel the night before because they did not finish work till 2 am and he didn't have his phone charger so it ran out of battery. I say no problem and we have a chat on the phone which is pleasant but not exciting or anything.
Later while he is watching Arsenal lose he texts me and we make tentative arrangements to meet at the weekend. He suggests going out to eat and drink and staying out somewhere. I think long and hard about this and decide I am not ready for this step yet. So I send him a text saying that intimacy is a gift that I have given to only a select few and yet although I hope one day to share this with him I would like to go slowly and get to know him better first.
He replies saying that'means a lot to me. I understand that. I don't expect that so soon X'
So thats okay then...I just chat about us sharing times together and getting to know one another without any pressure. He seems to agree to this...so thats all good.
I wonder why I am so reluctant to move this on? Maybe its knowing how these rushed relationships tend to go if you do this ie Mr V or maybe its cos I sense that this one could be different or even maybe this one is going to be nothing and that I am worth more than nothing...not that he is not a nice bloke, I am just not sure if he is the one for me at the moment but then how could I know this, I've only just met him.
The texts today have just been one so thats good and nice and calm. Wonder where we will go on our second date lol.
No word from Mr V and I do feel sad that this has come to an end, but not overwhelmingly devastated just a bit sad...after all it was good and like I always said I would feel like you do when a brilliant time ends or a good holiday...and that is just about how I feel, wondering if I will ever go back there again and sort of wishing the holiday could start all over again I had such a fabulous time.
Chris came for dinner last night which was good...we were sort of planning Cornwall and it felt nice to have him around again.
Work has been busy today...doing lots of preparation for training whilst feeling very tired cos I didn't really sleep last night. I told Christine not one area in my life is settled at the moment and its true.
Work - not sure if I will have a job
~Home, Richard selling it from under me and actually last night I decided to investigate to see if I can buy him out, I love this little house and feel comfortable here,
Relationships -Mr V on the way out and possible Rob on the way in.
Life is a bit mixed up at the moment but I am sure things will sort themselves out...have to go as a text has arrived...its funny I don't get that excited feeling like I would if it were a message from Mr V...must get him out of my system.
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