Poor Rob

Poor Rob. I am not being fair to him. I like getting the texts and the occasional phone calls and I love the idea that someone loves me but I don't commit or even try to see him and have really told him that we are over and yet I send him warm texts and stuff. Late Saturday night while I was asleep he text and told me he doesn't know where he is with me and when I read that I did feel guilty...for a short while.

The truth is that I don't know myself. He seems such a lovely bloke that I really don't want to give him up and yet I am not that attracted to him either and am scared of making another mistake like I did with Richard all those years ago and what would be the point of escaping someone I know and trust for the arms of someone that I don't? The truth is that I have to escape from Richard on my own first and then make my own decisions about men.

Apart from that yesterday was busy with cleaning, cooking and a little tiny bit of gardening. Some idiot has crashed into the side of my car and driven off without reporting it so thats gonna cost me at least £150 in excess and just when I am trying soooo hard to stay within my budget as well. I am pissed off about this.

No word from Mr V although I am not at all surprised or even that bothered to be honest I sort of feel that I've said goodbye really or maybe its knowing that we will meet again someday maybe not even soon but some day and I know we'll have fun yet again.