Rob warms up and I say goodbye to Mr V!

Slept really badly the night before and woke yesterday feeling really tired and drained and really only looking forward to going back to bed.

Had a busy day in work what with team meetings and preparing stuff for training etc. Still looks bleak on the job front although there we are trying to develop and sell the training it might be the only way to save people's jobs at this rate. Poor Christine looks tired and ill and it could all be a bit too much to expect one person to keep going like she does.

Had a text conversation with Rob and he comments on how quickly the week has gone and how he can hardly believe that it is almost a week since we met...ahhh he is sweet. When I say I'm tired he suggests a nice bath and early night and later texts to see how I am now...this is sooo new to me and I am totally unused to all this being treated like a precious girly...I might just give in to this and enjoy it.

I slept well last night, the main reason for insomnia was impending period and now thats happening sleep is fine thank goodness. This morning he checks that I feel better today and we have a lovely texting conversation again...later he phones and we make arrangements to meet in London. He is going to visit family in Islington and was prepared to come all the way back to Harlow to meet me. I tell him I will be fine travelling to London on my own and we've arranged to meet at Liverpool St.

Liverpool St has seen several meetings with me and different men. Not that many but a few. Val was the first one and we used to meet next to platform 1. Then I met Craig and that station saw us coming and going and of course the dramatic reconstruction of *****...so I wonder what it will be like meeting Rob there.

Today I feel good about getting his texts and actually am beginning to feel excited about him and rather turned on by the whole thing. I've emotionally said goodbye to Mr V now so I guess that helps.

I had sent Mr V a couple of chatty texts last night and despite saying he would not ignore me anymore he did so I sent one last text saying, 'I won't hassle you anymore or at least until I change my mind again and in order to help me not change my mind I am deleting your number from my phone. As you like to say 'its been emotional' or at any rate sexy and fun. No hard feelings and take care x'
I didn't get a reply and nor did I expect one. All his numbers are deleted and although I could find them if I needed or really wanted to, I don't want to. I don't want to chase someone who doesn't want to be chased. It was fun because he was there because he wanted to be.
Now I feel like I have waved him goodbye and indeed that is my visualisation a nice happy wave to him and him waving back...he was my carribean holiday, full of warm sun shiney days and hot exciting nights. Now it looks like my next holiday will be more London or urban based...all lifes rich tapestry and all that.

I think Mr V has been saying goodbye for a while really, our last conversation was with him telling me he has very fond memories of our time together and if you think about it that sounds like he is talking about the 'us' as in the past...only I didn't get it at the time. He'll always be special to me. Now I have to move on and luckily there is a nice man waiting in the wings...what a lucky girl I am and to be honest I don't ever want to be on my own again, I've spent too long being lonely.

I asked Richard about buying him out of the house and he didn't turn me down but in reality it looks like I could not really afford that which is a shame cos it could have been the answer to suit us all. I like my little house, Phil could have stayed and the cats are settled. Now I have all the old fears of moving and stuff again and also what will I be able to afford???!!