Early morning breakfast

I wake up about 5.30 and first off feel good and positive and then remember and feel immediately pissed off. God I was in a foul mood all day yesterday. Not motivated to do anything except play on Sims apart from going out to lunch with the girlies and my foul mood making all bitchy and nasty. Resentful of other peoples good fortune and hating myself for being like it. Must pull myself together and behave better today, I'll probably go into the office at least that will keep me busy.

Anyway make myself a breakfast and sit by the window as its a grey drizzly day there is no sitting in the garden today but from the table I can see out to the bird tables. Its a good start to the day. Molly sits on my newspapers and spreads herself out for a good wash and I can hear above the hum of the washing machine the clicking whisper of the robin so I know he is around. Mr Blackbird emerges from the sterile nest that he and Mrs Blackbird have been sitting on for weeks now, fetching bits of food for each other or some disabled chick? (It seems a bit of a long time for there to be any lively chicks emerging, perhaps blackbirds like sitting in nests?). A couple of collared doves feed from the tables which are covered first thing in snails. They are all up the bird feeders as well which must be an obstacle for the sparrows and it seems that not only am I feeding birds but also the snails which is not so good for the garden...lets hope there is no rats benefiting from the expensive bird food I buy every week.

And talking of rats I've decided to send him one last message telling him that we never had the kind of relationship that had expectations or where we could make demands and the fact that he demanded I drive my car to meet him at short notice when I had been drinking is wrong and that I am the one who is aggrieved and not him!

Weather - grey, drizzly

Health - very good although getting much too fat

Mood - pissed off big time

Money - still in the black so hurrah for me

News - dont know really too depressed yesterday to take any notice

My message for myself today is to bloody get myself sorted out, I've had a wallow and now its time to get on with life once again.