Views from the windows

Its so bloody cold for this time of the year you would think its more like November than August. Last night we had gale force winds and rain lashing up against the windows while we sat all cosy in doors watching a dvd...the glorious Davinci code...what a load of tosh. I'm glad I gave up on the book and would never have paid to go see the film...complete and utter tosh.

Today I sat at the dining room table and drank my hot water and lemon whilst looking out into the garden. I opened the window slightly so I could hear the garden sounds which consisted of far away slightly muffled traffic, a screaming out of its normal route Ryan air plane coming into land at Stansted. It may have been low cloud and visibility made it swerve from normal route where we can see them in the distance but they rarely bother us and lots of little bird song and sound.

Now the blackbirds have finished singing for the year the garden is quiet apart from the collar doves, the sparrows and the occasional crow or seagull passing. Even the chaffinch is quiet and I would love to hear a wren but don't think we have one near us. We do have the robins who sort of click to each other and the blackbirds do their strange clicking calling or warning to each other.

Our little family of blackbirds still seem to be feeding young. It seems a bit late but Mrs Blackbird, she with the little hunch of feathers on her upper back and Mr bushy blackbirds are busy fetching loads of worms to something in their nest. Is it some disabled baby that cannot grow and leave or have they had a late family? Its a bit worrying as it means potential danger re the cats and I was hoping that part of the year was over. Anyway there they are popping back and forth and calling to each other when they change places. It all looks very much like hard work to me.

The garden is very green and lush at the moment as a result of all the rain we've had. Everything is growing very fast and even though last week I spent ages pruning its all going to need it again at this rate.

My bird tables are looking a bit sad as well especially the one Chris bought me. The wood pigeons have knocked it over so many times the wood is all coming undone now and I don't think it will last much longer.

If I look up I can see the big flats overshadowing us all. From my bedroom I can see their balconies and presumably they can look down on me. I preferred it when the tree obscured that view and we could pretend we were in the countryside but can't do that anymore.

Out the front window I can see our little street with the different houses. Things have changed since we moved here 24 years ago. Then we were the youngest with our little family and most of the people in our street were much older. There was the man who had the moterised wheelchair which was unusual in those days. He'd sit on it with his beret on and his big coat and a blanket and his little dog would ride beside him. I always wanted to speak to him but was too shy and anyway saw him have a go at someone once so I think he was a bit miserable. Used to hear him play his Hammond organ.

There was Anne and Arthur who loved their garden and she would even polish her brass door step. They took such care of their garden and I remember them planting a rose out the front. All that is lost now amongst the weeds and overgrown grass and even the rubbish that the girl out their doesn';t bother with. Its a shame and I am glad Anne and Arthur can't see it.

Gradually people have moved out and younger people moved in and now we're probably in the older age group ourselves. I wonder if this will be my permanent view now? Will I ever move out and go somewhere fresh and new? Do I really want to as I get the feeling if I did I would really make it happen. Perhaps I like the famililarity of it all after all. Perhaps seeing the sea would be alien and uncomfortable for me and what I need is this urban comfort zone.