Anxiety

Woke up feeling tired and depressed and generally and worried and spent the morning just making calls etc. I did go and meet Lorraine at the Hare for lunch though and it was a very nice way to spend a dreary, drizzly cold November afternoon. The shops would have been very busy and crowded with christmas shoppers whereas in the pub it was all warm and cosy and comfortable.
Jayne joined us for about an hour looking really tense and stressed and tired. This whole thing is ageing her. She is getting cross with everyone except Jus and in particular with Paul. I feel sorry for him. He is a boy in boys skin barely 19 but his maturity level is around 16, not the brightess penny in the box, has found himself with a pregnant and lets not forget she got pregnant deliberately although it does take two to tango, nerotic who cannot do anything without her mother being around or involved and the mother is the mother in law from hell. She and Lauren are permanently there, complaining and freezing Paul out and yet moaning when he does not do what they want. He needs to assert himself and start saying it is his baby and he will bring the baby up as he sees fit not them. But he won't and if he did Jus would chuck him out. Its such a messy situation and I do blame Jayne for this.

Heard from Ph who said he had missed being with me today and perhaps we can talk on Monday or Tuesday ...he means when wifey isn't around. Maybe his marriage is better than he pretends hence why all the secrecy? When he sends tex like this it just puts me under pressure and means I can't talk to him in the way I did before. Lorraine thinks it all sounds sweet and that maybe the age difference, and lack of physical attraction is something to be minimalized but I wonder if she would think that if she saw him.

House is a complete mess and I am not sure whether to tackle it today or in the week. Work is very busy and I simply have too much to do this week and am in panic mode. I wonder if I didn;'t plan anything in my diary whether it would just get busy anyway?

Chris is back today and I have to poke Phil with a stick to clean the flat. I want it to be nice for Chris to come home to and I also want this house to be nice for Phil to come back to. Ah well

Mood - anxious and stressed

Health - good although I have been surrounded by people with colds

Money= it pre christmas so not too good and I can't check bank balance on new computer whiich is dangerous

News = lost cds with 25 million peoples details of bank accounts etc. England out of Europe cup and manager sacked

Weather cold and drizzly and grey