Heard from J via text last night that Kwas waiting for an ambulance to take her to hospital and that J thought Kwas depressed. Today when I contact J for more details it seems that J was not around but K friends were looking after her. No one knows if she has gone into hospital or not. Sad and worrying news.
Whenever K has gone into hospital when being ill before it was either through her own agreement or sectioned and that however she has got there she always gets worse on entering the hospital before the drugs or therapy or whatever starts to kick in and she then very slowly gets better.
I am desperately sad for K who has managed her illness so well till this point and also to be honest worried about how this might affect me. In the past she has made me promise not to interfere unless she asks me to I am glad to hear her good friends are looking out for her and I hope this might mean some of the anger and resentment she has displayed towards me might not be quite so this time. To be honest she scares me with her threats to come round and bash me up etc.
I cancelled PH which was a kind of relief really and phoned Mum and L this morning but had little more to add really. It seems that K had a brilliant holiday and came back to a messy house courtesy of J and was feeling down due to anniversary of dad's death etc. I guess this all tipped her over the edge. What a horrible mess.
A horrible is mess also sums up the state of my house as well as R has been trying to re do the ceilings in the hall and bathroom. He doesn't prepare anything so I have plaster stained photo's around the plaster stained walls. Plaster stained hall carpet and a fine layer of plaster over everything. I know he is going to complain that I am negative about anything he does but really the whole bloody house is a complete tip and its driving me absoloutely mad!!!
Shame because the weekend started off so well with a day trip for Linda, Sharon and me to Bluewater, my first proper visit. I really enjoyed the day and bought some Christmasy stuff and a pair of Faith boots for myself. We all missed Jay and worried about how the baby is probably not bonding with his parents but that Jay is taking over everything and not giving the new family a chance.
We sent Jay a photo of Next and that was enough to lure her finally away and out for a latte later in the day. It is how we all feared with Jay bonding with the baby, she even said I feel like I have a baby without going through all the labour and pregnancy. She has the routines down to a fine art whereas Jus feels completely disempowered and has not confidence in handling the baby. Jay is saying she will teach Jus but the reality is Jus needs to struggle, she needs to worry and be anxious and get used to handling the baby herself and she won't all the time Jay is presenting as the perfect parent and making Jus feel even worse. Its all such a mess and you can only express so much before Jay shuts down. Even Lauren was sleeping around there last night and you want to say who is this for? Its certainly not in the best interest of that new fledgling little family. I predict Jus will develope aggrophobia and not bond with this baby. She start saying the baby rejects her and then we'll have years of worry etc. I kept waking up last night thinking I must tell Jay to make sure the baby gives his first smile to Jus and then things might be saved.
Just heard from J who says K is home from hospital and just needs to rest. I've just spoken to J who tells me K came back from holiday on a high and was talking about a man who was going to rescue her and how she would be starting up a new business and would be able to support J etc etc. Its worrying she is home now. I do hope her friends are keeping a close eye on her otherwise she can do anything and I am just around the corner!
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