Christmas decorations

At last Jay seems to be seeing a bit of perspective and actually spent Saturday night in her own home in her own bed! She is admitting that a lot of it was about her need to be needed and that she does have to draw back and let the little family find its own way. Having said that she turned up there unannounced and univited yesterday morning unable to stay away any longer. I have talked to her about letting them struggle and find success through overcoming difficulty and how this will boost their self confidence but how much she is able to take in and actually do I really don't know. It will be small steps that might be hard to see any change in Jay let alone Jus.

We got out the decorations last night. God we have kept so much rubbish and yet its hard to throw away perfectly good tinsel whilst at the same time knowing I am never going to put it up again its so horribly tacky now. We have a little tree with lights on which I think looks fine but Phil wants a real tree and I keep thinking we don't know how many Christmassy he'll be at home so why not. He is a stickler for tradition is our Phil whereas Chris just wants new and up to date stuff.

The house is a complete mess with half the hall being decorated so have bits all over the carpet. In the sitting room we have two odd chairs plus a deck chair till the new sofas arrive on the 22. I just hope and pray they fit this time and am petrified they will try and take them away again.

Have written some cards and wrapped some presents and did a few last minute christmas shopping. I am well ahead this year as today I was buying the kind of presents I generally rush around and buy the last week before Christmas.

Am hooked on strictly come dancing and to my relief little Mat was saved by my voting 3 times to keep him in. Go on and make me proud now Mat.

Felt a bit sad today , having to say goodbye to my dreams of PH rescuing me but also know it was the right decision.

Health - good despite being surrounded by colds and flues

Money = surprisingly good

Mood = bit anxious about everyone but have decided not to see myself as the centre of the world and hopefully they will think that as well.

News - lost canooist mans wife returns and is arrested

Weather = very windy and cold and dark, it is the darkest days in December so to be expected I guess