Mum falls and I tell PH no more kissing

Received a text from Lisa saying Mum had fallen down the stairs and had been taken to hospital in an ambulance! She had fallen down nearly all her stairs and bashed her head against the radiator, hurt her ankle and badly bruised herself but miraculously apart from that she is fine. She is very lucky at worse she could have been killed and she is lucky not to have any broken bones. Its a shame because she was going out and doing more for herself so I hope this does not hold her back too much.

I had to phone K and tell her and to start with she sounded fine but throughout the rapidly changing conversation I could tell things were not good. She is spending money on items that she doesn't need or can afford like make overs and new clothes and a computer. Ordering skips and then demanding they be taken back, arguing with friends and generally finding everyone gets in her way, spoils her ideas and thwarts her plans. It must be a puzzling world in which she is living where no one understands and you could hear the annoyance and anger in her voice. I hope and pray that she is getting the right kind of help from her doctor and that she will move from this horrible state soon. I really do fear her when she is ill as she becomes so threatening and scary and who knows what might spring into her mind to do although at the moment she is talking about inviting people to weddings and buying clothes and stuff. Lets hope this mood continues and the downward spiral is not too bad for her.

I saw PH today and when he came over and hugged me I as usual turned my cheek and and said no give me a proper kiss. I said no and we need to talk about that. So we did. I told him the kissing had disturbed my equlibrium and that he was my dearest and closest friend and I don't want to lose the frienship but the kisses felt like it was moving the friendship in a direction I was not ready for. It felt too intimate and made me uncomfortable.
As I half expected he was sorry if he had upset me and didn't want me to be uncomfortable and the friendship was important to him and he didn't expect because he kissed me to leap into bed with me. (just saying this made me want to squirm) and that he would basically respect my wishes. As soon as he said that he started to tell me about a woman friend he had not seen for about two years who he felt had been avoiding him but who had very recently been back in touch and that he was going to meet her for lunch very soon. I felt this conversation had been steered so PH could tell me I was not the only fish in the sea and that as one door closed another opened. KNow your place Gill I thought but I also thought its his way of saving face of not been embarrassed and I could cope with this.
Following that I relaxed and we had a lovely chat, laughing over some things and just chatting and as usual the time whizzed by. At one point when talking about travelling and his plans to go away I did say if he needed a travelling companion I would go willingly.

As we parted I gave him a big hug and he jokingly asked if hugs were okay and I said hugs were good. It was the right thing to do. I just could not physically do anything with him even though I love him to bits it just would not feel right.......

....unlike the delicious Mr V who I saw last night and who still turns me on by just being in my prescence. Shame Mr V doesn't have the same lovely attributes as PH. I have to take my men in bits.