Losing friends

I've been feeling for a while just lately that J has been avoiding me and yesterday while making my inaugeral visit to a school as a new governor I bumped into her. She pulled me to her in one of her great big bear hugs and when I said half jokingly 'I'm sorry do I know you'. She replied that it was all going wrong and we were falling apart!
Later that evening I text her after noting that Y was going for a yummy latte on her facebook and I could guess with who that would be. Whether its a good thing or not I am still not sure but I will just ask people out front what the problem is, the difficulty is that unless they are ready to say they just avoid the subject. J replied to my text in a very assertive way that made me smile as I know how she works but basically admitted something was wrong but she couldn't put her finger on it and that I had been unavailable and so because she needed to be out had planned other things, however if I was now able to come out all was fine.
I felt she was avoiding the truth here and yes I have been unavailable for going out to pubs and stuff but there had been loads of times when I had text her to try and meet up and it just had not happened. My case was sort of proved when she said how busy she would be this weekend by seeing Markie poos on Friday and going to London on Saturday with L. This last bit really hurt.
It would have been lovely to be invited to go with them on Saturday and it brought home to me the extent of my exclusion to which I had been ignoring and trying to make excuses for J's unavailability.
Its terribly sad when a friendship as good as ours has been seems to be in decline and I feel a real sense of loss and grief. I can partly understand the reasons which I think started when J had the baby and I was the voice that was saying to J how she needed to leave them to let the family grow and be independent. I think my voice probably became more strident and more unwelcome and I was aware that I often voiced my dissaproval and lets be honest who wants to spend time with someone who is constantly telling you off? I wouldn't.

So what to do? Feeling hurt I just want to withdraw and hope she comes a finds me and makes me feel better which is something I think I learnt from my mum. We always had to go and make her feel better. I am thinking that if this friendship has run its course then I need to find other friends and I know I am good at making them. I was already thinking of suggesting to JC that we go on holiday together as we are both on our own. I do have other friends, lots of them and I just need to make sure I see them and not spend so much time waiting for J who lets be honest isn't going to come around now.

Mood Sad and upset
Health good
Money - not sure and can't be bothered today
News teachers on strike and Prime minister in trouble.
Weather is sunny but rain predicted...it looks lovely and fresh outside