Goodbye to Mr V.

I can't believe its almost two months since I last posted.
Things between J and I are different. I don't know if it was me being super sensitive or that maybe I do have to accept that people change and move on, anyway we seem a bit calmer and I'm generally feeling okayish about that situation now.
Just got back at the weekend from a week in lovely Devon in a beautiful little fishing village staying in a four hundred year old cottage that was definetely haunted but had a wonderful little balcony that over looked the water. I sat there all day just watching the changing view from sea and boats bobbing to mud and birds wading. Glorious weather as well...only trouble is that I have post holiday blues and just cannot get back into work mode. This will pass but I am fed up today and not even the sight of my lovely green and growing garden makes me feel better. I just want to be in the village by the sea pottering around.

I've given up Mr V. I have been almost consistently putting him off since around Christmas time and feeling fat and unattractive and also completely unfit just the thought of major atheletics was enough to put me off and it wasn't fair on him as I would keep letting him down and hoping and praying he would forget but bless him he didn't so....after once again letting him down on Sunday I finally came clean and said how I felt about myself and that he should find someone else. I hoped he didn't take this horribly and to look after himself.
He replied that maybe it was time to bring things to an end and that it was good while it lasted, to take care of myself and he actually added three kisses at the end!!! He has never sent a kiss not once and now at the end he sends three!!
I replied that it meant a lot to part as friends and then a little while later he said we could do a goodbye session on Wednesday which made me laugh but to which I said no.

Ahh so thats that. It was bloody brilliant, exciting, he is gorgeously good looking and still excites and turns me on but there you go. I think J thinks this isn't the end and to be honest this week I have been thinking more about him but I suspect this is because I have given him up and you always wonder if you do the right thing and its always a bit sad when something comes to an end but to part on good terms is excellent and I wish him all the luck and best for the future.