Just found this old blog of mine.  Years since I updated it and to be honest, I keep a paper diary now. Goodness knows what will happen to all my diaries.  Maybe I should burn them all which would save my sons the hassle of reading a load of wittering nonsense.

If I were them and found a diary of my mum, I would probably spend too long looking for where she said she loved me or something else positive.  I hope that my son's find lots of positive things about them.  I am very proud of how they have grown into kind men.  I really value kindness above most other attributes.  If you have kindness, no matter whether you are rich or poor, you will be a lovely person to be around and will be making a contribution to other lives.

Kindness was what attracted me to Peter when we first met.  His kindness to a bee starving in March and how he took time to rescue it and put it on a little flower.  I thought, there is someone that takes time to rescue someone very vulnerable and smaller than himself.

I've largely been proved right although he also gets on his high horse and will lecture people which makes me grit my teeth now.

Anyway in the intervening years, Richard and I have divorced and both moved independently to North East Scotland.  Funnily how life goes.  We get on better now.  I love him as a member of my family and help him if he needs it, which largely he doesn't.  

I have Peter as a partner and still fancy him except when he slurps his tea or licks his knife. I admire him for his work ethic, his physical strength and stamina and he is also pretty intelligent and he kind of keeps me in control which I often need. He makes me feel very safe when I am with him...but I also maintain my independence in money and emotionally.  

anyway that is a quick recap.