Yesterday felt like one of those days when you actually achieve very little so I got up today determined to do much more and so far am plodding through my list very or fairly productively. I'm expecting a call from Jayne soon so need to get on because once lunch time comes and goes it often feels like that is the whole day gone.
Jayne is going through some horrible mess at the moment with both her girls announcing that they are pregnant at the same time!! It looks like Lauren will have an abortion but Justine who has been here before is now saying she wants to keep the baby. This seems nonsense to me as this is a girl who has never worked longer than about 3 days in a row, who gets stressed at going to the town and can't use public toilets without having a panic attack. Do you have to be mentally fit to have a child probably not but surely you should be able to look after yourself before you take on another life.
It seems to me that we go into having children so lightheartedly. Now at my ripe old age I would really hesitate and consider what it really means, perhaps its good that we don't but it does seem that Justine has nothing to offer this new life. She has no relationship security with Paul being as young and inexperienced as her, she has no life experiences or mature outlook or even a mature emotion of her own. She has no home and no money and although the state will provide the last two its a poor start for this new young life and somone ie Jayne and Mark should be letting her know on the strongest terms that this decision is not the right one.
Well thats my opinion and I'll keep it to myself as I know Jayne will not do anything except carryon being so soft with both the girls and go straight into rescue mode. I do feel for her as it seems Mark is hell bent on trying to get the sack and both girls pregnant and she looks so tired and stressed and is constantly biting her nails. How is she going to carry on like this all through Justine's pregnancy and childbirth and of course what follows. This is all going to cost Jayne money and time and emotion and Justine makes me cross for doing all this to my friend.
I got into a panic yesterday when I saw my bank balance was already at 2000 overdrawn and only just been paid...I phoned Egg and arranged a large, frightening large consolidating loan. Now my monthly repayments will be 374 a month as opposed to 614 so if I cannot manage on that there is something seriously wrong. I really need to save for rainy days rather than just using credit and I defienetly need to live within my means.
In some ways I know I have got better because I only use my egg card rarely or to pay for things online and I always apy it off every month no matter how hard. This has actually added to my problems because it has pushed me into my overdraft but there have been expenses like Christian's watch and stuff like that. I need to really get a grip from now on. I will even try to be good and keep acurate records of incomings and outgoings and account for money spent.
I will really really do this...I want to be debt free at the latest in 7 years and hopefully sooner especially if I use the equity on the house.
OOoh lunch time already I think I'll make myself a nice cheese sandwich I love cheese.
No message from him...has the other woman returned? Is he sulking because I could not download the videos? I don't think he is sulking but the other woman could have popped back and now he doens't need me again or it could be he is just busy.
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