I sent a text Friday asking him to let me know if he would be at the pub...nothing. Got ready and about 8ish got a text from Robo saying he had got a pass for tonight and would see me at the pub. So I mentally prepared myself for seeing Him again. I find it better if I can prepare myself. Around 10ish they stroll in laughing and he looks so good in a white short sleeve shirt and jeans. He is laughing hard with his head back and he just looks so handsome I could eat him. He takes over the pub as if he owns it and his confidence and some would say arrogance oozes out of him like some odor or perfume.
Mrs V and her mates come to the pub and I can see the interaction between them, he buys her a drink and they briefly chat and I think I caught a quick kiss but either way you can see that there is something between them. Meanwhile I avoid eye contact with him and when I go to the toilet and almost bump into him I dive into the ladies quick. Feeling confused with myself. Should I challenge him and ask him about the silences or just ignore him? I think I catch him occasionally looking or glancing over at me and briefly our eyes meet and in that brief second I think he still wants me, but I look away more confused than ever.
Mrs V chats to Robo alot and its hard to catch his eye. The night drags on, the band is the worse one they have had there with their rubbish sound system which sounds so tinny and alwful you can't hear the words and they seem to be singing along to cd's rather than singing themselves.
A fight between two women breaks out and is quickly and effectively dealt with by Pete and Jim...have to admire those two they keep us pretty safe really. Then one of the girls who was involved feels her hair being dragged through the window as the other one has returned and is pulling her hair from the outside. Much more screaming noises and people shouting lock the other door. Meanwhile Lorraine gets all panicky and starts to cry.
Lorraine and Jayne have stayed sober and are pretty keen to go and I feel I have to say something to Robo otherwise the moment will be lost so I walk over and just say hello interrupting his conversation with Mrs V. He obviously wants to talk to me and we talk about his horrible day, how he doens't know if he can get out tomorrow, his step son, my job and knife and gang culture. He says his mate Gavin had told him that we were all clever women...so thats nice. At one point Mr V puts his arm, his strong arm around Robo and says something to him and laughs...its not about me but it excludes me and I am tempted to tell him not to be so rude.
While I am chatting to Robo I touch him frequently doing all the stuff I know will turn him on and let others think I want him. I touch his arms and chest frequently and when he talks about his eye that got poked I tell him he needs a compress and lay my cool hand on his eye. I know that Mr V is watching and will see all this and anyway even if he doesm't its good to flirt and both me and Robo are enjoying it.
Yasmin comes over and aggressively tells me that 'we're going in a minute' which sort of implies that if I don't come I don't get a lift...got that woman pisses me off the ways she speaks. I say goodbye to Robo and leave by squeezing his hand sort of reluctantly and join the others.
The next morning I can't resist sending Mr V a text which asks if he still thinks of our sex when wanking, are the memories like a juke box and he can select his favoiurite that kind of thing. He replies at the traditional time of 9.10 (he is actually quite reliable like that) 'you still want me don't ya?' and I reply 'you know I do and i hate myself for wanting such a man as you' He asks why and I say that someone who breaks promises etc etc. The texts go back and forth and I am feeling victorious but don't necessarily have to see him today as we both probably have things to do.
I go up the town and Jayne who has been having her bathroom tiled by Sean who happens to be in the Velvet group texts me to say that she has been pumping Sean and has info on Mr V and that Mrs V is not who we think she is. I have to phone straight away and reluctantly Jayne tells me what we have all suspected all along. Mrs V is not Mrs V but rather 'the other woman'. This means that the real Mrs V is somewhere at home minding the kids while he is in a pub with at least two women that he is having sex with and juggling those balls. I am not the other woman, I am another other woman!!! I am so fucking mad.
It all makes sense now. Her wearing a wedding ring, their looks between them, arriving separately and barely acknowledging each other but again the chemistry between them. His sending that text the time we were in a hotel room where he talked about his heart aching and rushing off to meet her at Tescos' which felt very wierd at the time and I had my suspicions then and even challenged him and he denied it.
I send a text immediately saying how small H is and how plumbers can reveal stuff. He asks me what I am on about but I don't reply. I need to think and I need to hear more from Jayne who is busy pumping Sean further but now worried that I have dropped her in it.
I swing from being angry to sort of laughing and almost admiring the cunt for his outrageous behaviour. How does he manage it all? His time management must be amazing.
I also realise that he has been lying to me and that our relationship can never be anything other than what it is and I feel a bit dirty and used. For the first time I don't find him sexy or attractive and thinking of having sex with him now is not a turn on. I start to think of ways to get revenge.
Jayne later gives me more details and that most if notall of that group are all at it with different people not that we can really criticise them for that...but Mr V is obviously the worse with at least two of us if not more?
Jayne and I watch England kick off the world cup and enjoy the match and asking the experts...ie men to tell us what different things mean and its quite a laugh really as they like to explain lots of things to us such as they way the competition will work etc.
I get a surprising text from Craig asking what I am doing this weekend I send a chatty one back and he replies quickly and suddenly he asks me if I would like to come down on Monday as he is soo horny. Pig!! I try to think of a good reply and at the same time join in the conversation and he texts he is sorry if that makes me feel awkard and another saying or am i thinking of it. I reply that I will always have a place in my heart and I will always be a friend to him. In true Craig style he says we shouldn't bother in future and bye Gill. I laugh at this as this is such familiar behaviour and he used to do that all the time. Only then I would plead with him not to go and end up doing stuff I knew I shouldn't. Now I just don't care which feels good. I need to be like this with Mr V.
Now today I wonder if he will text me asking about sex. I don't want to text him and I don't know how I feel. Jyane thinks we should make friends with the woman we thougt was Mrs V...I'll have to call her Mrs V2 and get info and also I can now say hello and stuff to him as we now know she isn't Mrs V and can't do anything and it will mess things up for him. I'm tempted just to ask him straight but Jayne thinks that being straight and honest just leaves you vulnerable and at the moment I am tempted to agree. Being honest does not seem to get me honest men.
I fanatise about picking him up like I did before when he is slightly drunk, driving him to the garden and when he is without his trousers driving off leaving him there to walk home. In my fantasy I get his phone and send messages to everyone that he is a lying bastard who has been seeing at least two women. Then I chuck his phone deep into the field where he can never find it again. I leave him to try to get home with no clothes on while I laugh with Jayne. Its a good fantasy.
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